The Preschooler Times

Filed under:It's My Life,Toys, Children's — posted by Anwyn on August 26, 2007 @ 10:17 am

You haven’t lived until you’ve been ensconced at the kitchen table, where “we” are making the latest craft involving pompoms to come from the Luciferesque minds of the devil editors at Highlights magazine, except it’s really “you” making the craft, because gluing pompoms together requires hot glue, because craft glue or Elmer’s simply won’t hold pompoms together, and hot glue, as we’ve already discovered in the earlier part of the project, does not get cool enough quick enough for a three-year-old to mess with, even only to press the items together after the glue has been spread, as Mommy abjectly apologized for while we hung over the sink rinsing a little finger in cold water, listening to your three-year-old sing, as he blithely plays with his toys while Mommy makes the devil craft,

“The first mate, he got drunk;
he broke in the captain’s bunk [sic];
the con-sta-bull had to come and take him away!
Sheriff John Stone, why don’t you leave me alone?
I – feel – so – broke – up – I – wan – na – go – home.

“Mommy, are you making the frogs right now?”


  1. Ohmygosh. I’m laughing so hard my sides hurt.

    You’d make an awesome humor columnist/political analyst.

    Where did my darling learn that song? I’ve never heard that one.

    Comment by Bumble — August 26, 2007 @ 5:43 pm

  2. While I’m grateful for your sentiments, I have to acknowledge the possibility that you may be biased. :)

    That’s “Sloop John B.,” by the Beach Boys. I was going to include a link, but you’ll have to google it yourself as my internet is goofy right now.

    Comment by Anwyn — August 26, 2007 @ 6:03 pm

  3. Web’s better. Lyrics are here:

    Comment by Anwyn — August 26, 2007 @ 6:06 pm

  4. Yeah, well, mom says I’m biased when I say your son’s cute. Doesn’t mean he’s not. ;-)

    Comment by Bumble — August 26, 2007 @ 6:15 pm

  5. Actually, it’s a traditional song that the Beach Boys covered. My daughter likes Chuck Berry’s “My Dingaling”.

    And when they sent me off to school,
    I stayed behind in the vestibule;
    Every time that bell would ring,
    They’d find me playing with my dingaling.

    My dingaling, My dingaling,
    I want to play with my dingaling.

    Comment by nk — August 27, 2007 @ 8:25 am

  6. Yeah, I know it’s not their song. But they’re where The Bean knows it from.

    Comment by Anwyn — August 27, 2007 @ 9:16 am

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image: detail of installation by Bronwyn Lace