I was out doing errands while they ran the Kentucky Derby. Little Bean and Daddyman were watching at home. The Bean once went several months racing us everywhere, calling himself Seattle Slew, me Affirmed, his father Secretariat. The two of them are interested in the horses and their names and what races they win. I was horrified when I called home and was told that the horse of The Bean’s choice, Eight Belles, had had “an accident” on the track and broken both ankles after coming in second. Me, anxiously: “What did they do for her?” Daddyman, conscious of The Bean’s listening ears close by: “Well, they pulled the horsey ambulance around to the track and … took care of it … right there.” The Bean knew nothing of what “took care of it” meant, even when the TV announcers used the word “euthanized.” Fortunately he didn’t think to ask about that long-tailed word’s meaning.

And I spent the rest of the day thinking there must be something wrong with horse racing, even if I personally don’t know exactly what it is, and that maybe people shouldn’t race horses like this.

Turns out it’s true, people shouldn’t race horses like this:

Eight Belles was three-years old and 17 hands high. The average amateur, like me, wouldn’t even start jumping her until she was five because her bones haven’t finished developing. Am I smarter than the megabuck owners and trainers? I’d have to say “yes.” Just look at the outcome.

…

I got Lucy, my fat Thoroughbred who flunked out of racehorse training when she was two, on the New Year’s weekend when she turned three. I treated her like a baby. She was a baby and didn’t finish growing until she was past five. I didn’t start jumping her until she was five. This is considered common sense.

I don’t have much sympathy for animal rights groups, but I do have a lot of sympathy for animals and concern over their treatment at human hands. I’m relieved to find that it’s not racing as a practice that is abusive, still a bit on the fence about whether racing as a practice is abusive, but relieved to find that what seems to cause these shocking deaths is not racing, but the racing of horses before their time. The destruction of these beautiful animals is terrible. Read Anne’s whole piece if you were shocked by the fate of Derby runner-up Eight Belles, and remember that human skull bones don’t fully fuse until we’re over twenty years old. Over twenty! Allowing the horses’ bones to set hard before they’re put through these paces is the least race owners, trainers, and jockeys can do.

But the mistakes can be hard–rock-hard. Or diamond-hard, as in baseball. The Cubs can’t do anything right even on their statuary.

Before the [Ernie] Banks statue went on display at Wrigley Monday, many people had inspected it, and they agreed: Mr. Cub, 7 feet and 300 pounds of bat-swinging bronze, looked great.

Cella, who works at the Fine Art Studio of Rotblatt-Amrany in Highwood, had scrutinized the things that mattered most to him as the sculptor.

How was the patina? Excellent. Was the inscription on the correct side of the granite base? Yes, it was. Right down there on Ernie’s left it said:

LETS PLAY TWO.

Groan.

Katelyn Thrall, a Cubs representative, walked in, brusquely stuck out her hand and didn’t wait for me to explain.

“We’re going to fix it,” she said. “That’s all I can say.”

Fabulous. Will you also fix Harry Caray’s while you’re at it? You can just take his apostrophe off and give it to Banks.

H/t Banks article: J. I saw the Caray myself lo those years ago, last time I was at Wrigley.

Update: That was quick. You can tell there was no space for it to begin with, but we’ll take what we can get, which apparently does not include anybody noticing, commenting on, or fixing Harry Caray’s. H/t J again.

Billy Crystal takes BP with the Yankees in preparation for an exhibition game against the Pirates.

[BP pitcher] Martinez, prodded by Jeter, playfully tossed a pitch behind Crystal’s helmet during BP. Crystal was equal to the moment, walking toward the mound and pointing his bat.

Crystal ended the 90-minute session with his best swing of the afternoon. The righty lined what would’ve been a double down the left-field line, then lingered a few extra minutes talking with Triple-A hitting coach Butch Wynegar about mechanics.

“I was surprised. You could tell he’s been working at it,” Martinez said.

The Pirates’ manager doesn’t have a problem, but I like their pitcher’s remarks the best:

“It’s a no-win situation for me,” [lefty Paul Maholm] said, smiling. “I’m supposed to get the guy out. If he gets a hit off me, though, I might to have hang ‘em up after the game.”

Little Brother, plus a grinding team of blitzers, stuffing it into Brady’s smug, arrogant face. Way to go, Giants, that was totally incredible. The Patriots didn’t even come close to giving it away, either. It was taken from them by force. Hard fought and well done, Giants. A lot more lovin’ for Eli is in order.

And then there’s Bill Belichick, leaving the field with one second left while his team lines up for the last futile play. What an ass. Tony Dungy would never dream of perpetrating such an act of disgust towards his own team, Bill, no matter how close they came to an undefeated season before having it snatched from them. Which is why he’s the better man. How ya like them apples?

Because, seriously, if your boy can’t keep his head just because his (ex-)girlfriend’s at the game, he doesn’t belong in the NFL.

…but if Eli and the Giants can manage to make Brady chew a little turf, I’ll be giving little brother some lovin’ on the side.

…why baseball players are not facing the same penalties. Why they are not being asked about their substance abuse by federal prosecutors instead of by useless congressional committees. Why the judge felt it fit to sic the maximum sentence on a nursing mother when Barry Bonds is going scot-free. Why he thinks popping a female track star into prison is going to deter male baseball players who have been getting away with it for years.

If this stuff is illegal, prosecute. Everybody. If it is not, don’t sic federal prosecutors selectively and then slap on jail time for the lying.

That Marion Jones should serve time for lying to federal prosecutors, I don’t doubt. That there are, seemingly, some pretty heavy inequities here before the law, I do believe. The whole thing is disgusting.

Noooooooooooooooooooooo. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

H/t: Daddyman.

I’ve been waiting a long long time (though probably not as long as Rangers fans) for the backlash against A-Rod’s astronomical salary. Looks like it’s here. Aramis Ramirez, how does it feel to be more valuable than the highest-paid player in the sport?

Jim Hendry of the Cubs said: “He’s a great, great player. I know he has a longstanding relationship with Lou Piniella. Anybody would love to have him. In our situation we’re very happy with Aramis Ramírez at third. In the overall scheme of things, for the dollars it would take, we have other needs — in the outfield, speed-wise, maybe a little more pitching.

“For that kind of volume of dollars, I don’t see a way that would make any sense because we’re very happy with our guy at third. To commit that much more to one player and not address the other needs we have when we already have an All-Star caliber third baseman is really tough to do.”

Thanks, Jim Hendry. Now please find some guys to fill those holes before the owners seriously start considering putting Cuban at the wheel.

(Via Funkypundit.)

They must. Lest there be an opening for any sportswriter who can’t think of anything else or who has a Patriots bias to jump right back on that old “Peyton-can’t-win-the-big-game” bandwagon. It would be a shame if a Super Bowl ring isn’t enough to take the wheels off that wagon forever.

Update, halftime: That TD was a beautiful thing. That’ll teach you to leave Addai open, suckers. Which is something you shouldn’t have needed to be taught in the first place.

Update, after Colts’ second interception of Brady: Bra-dy’s ma-ad, and I’m gla-ad …

Update: 24-20 Patriots. Lord help our Colts.

I wish you much luck, Joe Girardi, you were always one of my favorites when you caught for the Cubs. But at the same time, I fear you’re actually going to need it.

Have your party.

I think this leaves my Cubs as the last goat in baseball.

At least I still have my Colts and their now world-beating QB.

I’m back from Boston, where my gracious hostess Petitedov and I saw tons of history and several varieties of Mike’s Pastry. A few things that happened while I was gone:

Funkypundit prognosticated incorrectly lied, Phils and Cubs died. Holy cow-hum.

Marion lied, gold medals died. I remember those Olympics. I believed her then. The article blandly says that two out of the other three relay team members have served doping bans since then–doesn’t say it’s for sure they doped at those Olympics. Doesn’t matter. Medals should all go to the second-place team. I used to be naive about this stuff. Now it’s starting to taint the concept of everybody at the top for me.

Latinos lied, DMV spied, Oregonian cried got its panties in a wad over the fact that most of the people taken up for fraudulent documents were Latino. Here’s a conundrum: Oregon law allows illegals to obtain driver’s licenses or state IDs as long as they have authentic documentation, such as a consulate card or a (frequently Mexican) birth certficate. Yet people are still using fraudulent documents, leading me to wonder if people actually want their real names on a license if they’re illegal.

Already, suspects who might otherwise have gone unchecked have been caught: they confess to buying Social Security cards in Montana, Los Angeles and Hillsboro; and they admit traveling from places such as Nevada and California, where illegal immigrants are prohibited from getting state identification.

No word in the article on whether they take their Oregon ID back to Nevada or California and live there awhile with a totally legitimate document supplied to them by the friendly state of Oregon. And the license clerks are the losers here–learn to properly identify a crappy Mexican birth certificate (”But the pink color, chipped ink and misplaced signature of the birth certificate still did not pass the test.”) or report somebody whose documents are actually genuine, even if it means they’re a genuine illegal. Until Oregon law begins to address their illegal status and not just their fraudulent documents, the DMV’s effort is valiant but only a half measure.

Via Ace, via Snapped Shot.