The Joke She Should Have Told
Dear Ann Coulter: Funny is not my first language. I’m not a funny speaker or writer. So if even I can come up with the joke that would’ve made your point without making an ass of you, you should have been able to too. As Holmes says, “Here, for example, is a possible and even probable one. I make you a free present of it.”
“So it turns out there’s a rule, if you say the word ‘faggot,’ you have to go to rehab. That is, if you deny having called someone a ‘faggot,’ you have to go to rehab. For denying it. Well, I guess that’s fair–some of us wanted Bill Clinton to go to jail for denying he had sexual relations with that woman.”
Of course, it doesn’t take a cheap shot at John Edwards, so you’d have needed to figure out another one for that and probably have gotten in just as much trouble, but damn it, grow up and find a better way to gut the thought police. That, I’m all in favor of. Just do it smarter. Please. You are finally running out of goodwill even with your [former] fans.
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There are possibly 1,000 witty yet accurate things one could say about John Edwards. Implying that he’s gay? In addition to not being funny, it’s also not true. How about something along the lines of “John Edwards can see both Americas from his mansion.” …or something like that. My example may not be the most clever thing ever spoken, but it’s worlds better than a school yard taunt.
Coulter has gone from being entertainingly partisan to just plain unpleasant. I also find it humorous that a woman with such a prominent Adams apple would call a man with a wife and kids effeminate. Just saying… Pot, Kettle, Rehab.
Comment by Allen — March 7, 2007 @ 8:15 am
I don’t think that Ann Coulter was implying that the Breck Girl is gay. I think she was implying that he is a “faggot” — a sneaky, lying two-faced, can’t-trust-him-farther-than-you-can-throw-him creep. You know, a “bitch” is not just a female dog, an “a__hole” is not just a part of the anatomy, and a “j___off” is not just a guy without a grirlfriend. Likewise, “faggot” is not just a derogatory term for a male homosexual.
Comment by nk — March 7, 2007 @ 9:43 am
nk, I’m shocked–shocked!–to see you defending Coulter. ;) That said, you’ve summed up her defense pretty well, and I know you and she are just about of an age, but unless the word meant something substantially different when you and Ann were in grade school, her defense doesn’t hold up. Ever since I was a little girl, that word meant, in effect, “You’re gay,” and it was a rather deadly insult.
It is worth a chuckle or two that the gay community, rather than shucking it off as one of those things where only the name-caller sees it as an insult, must needs embrace the idea of being called gay as an insult. I’m not sure how to reconcile that.
Allen, I am reluctantly coming to agree with you about Coulter’s transition from funny and biting to unpleasant. I hope she smartens up a bit soon but I’m not holding my breath. That said, however, I am very tired of this “Adam’s apple” crap. A bump in her neck is neither here nor there to a discussion of her talk.
Comment by Anwyn — March 7, 2007 @ 10:03 am
Anwyn, I completely agree that the “‘Adam’s apple’ crap” has nothing at all to do with the substance of Coulter’s words. Neither does Edward’s appearance have anything to do with his words. That’s why I brought up her appearance. (I was trying to make a point by illustration. I’ll try harder next time.)
Of course, that’s not what she was talking about. She was using the version of vernacular English wherein “faggot” is not a derogatory term for a homosexual — the same universe where Mr. Spock has a beard. My mistake. ;-)
I keep asking a gay friend of mine if he goes to these “gay community” meetings where people decide what the “gay agenda” is going to be. He told me he couldn’t talk about it. Just a guess? A straight person calling a gay person “faggot” is probably a lot like a white person calling a black person by the N-word. Again, I don’t have any copies of that agenda so I can’t be sure what the “gay community” is saying officially.
Comment by Allen — March 7, 2007 @ 1:58 pm
Taking your points in reverse order, when I used the term “gay community” above, I should have said “GLAAD,” instead, which is the organization that bitched until Isaiah Washington went off to rehab. Self-appointed spokespeople can cause a lot of grief for their intended constituents as well as for the rest of us.
As for her meaning the term in a different way than most rational people understood it, I already said above that I don’t think that defense holds water, even though I can sorta see how she could believe it herself.
As for the Adam’s apple, we both already agreed that she’s not nice for saying what she did … I guess I just don’t see implying she’s lacking sufficient femininity as any funnier than what she said, that’s all.
Comment by Anwyn — March 7, 2007 @ 4:15 pm
Well, you know, by defending Ann Coulter I am actually defending myself. Do you remember when I called her a “skinny skank” at Patterico’s? Should I apologize to all underweight people or just the ones in tight tank tops? ;)
Comment by nk — March 8, 2007 @ 10:35 am