Early Billy Joel

Filed under:Ew,Music,Oh Hell No — posted by Anwyn on February 22, 2010 @ 12:47 pm

Pre-prefrontal-cortex Billy Joel, by the description:

Yes, that is Billy Joel, wearing fur pelts and posing with Small in a meat locker. And while such packaging might seem at best laughable, you ain’t experienced nuthin’ ’til you’ve heard the thing.

“Wonder Woman” kicks off the record, and we should be able to tell we’re in trouble, right from the get-go. A swirl of amplified wah-wah noise greets us, like a haze of pot smoke from an open van door. Out come the fur pelt-wearin’ Long Island Huns—Jon Small flailing around, beating anything he can find with his manly drum-clubs, and Joel coaxing noises from his organ rig, just like Jimi Hendrix, only without the sexiness or melodic intent. “Wonder Woman with your skin so fair!” Joel shouts. “Wonder Woman with your long, red hair! You have the velvet touch! You have what I want so much! My love is burnin’ fire! My need is my desire!”

It gets a lot worse from there. The prefrontal cortex, by the way, is “implicated in planning complex cognitive behaviors, personality expression, decision making and moderating correct social behavior.[citation needed] The basic activity of this brain region is considered to be orchestration of thoughts and actions in accordance with internal goals.” Goals such as creating a hit record and correct social behavior such as … none of what’s described in that album. The prosecution rests.

I also didn’t know that Billy Joel’s first wife was poached from his bandmate. Apparently he never really was any more normal than other Hollyweirds. Sigh.

H/t Daddyman.

A Question for Crazy People

Filed under:Ew,Jerks — posted by Anwyn on September 7, 2009 @ 10:12 pm

If your name were “Squitiro,” wouldn’t you probably go ahead and take your husband’s name, even if it was “Funkhouser?”

No, wait. You’re crazy.

Allah Getting Huge Kick Out of Baiting at Least Two-Thirds of His Readers

Filed under:Ew,Jerks,Not Cool,Politics,Uncategorized — posted by Anwyn on June 24, 2009 @ 5:24 pm

The third that hates Huckabee with a fiery passion and the third that loves him with a … fiery white passion. Don’t mess with me, punk.

Sorry, But…

Filed under:Ew,Not Food — posted by Anwyn on January 27, 2009 @ 3:14 pm

“…this is what you get, when you meeessss with uuuuuuusss…”

–Illegal Blowfish Testicles. Can I get a Barry ruling on that?

Via Dude.

Thank All the TV Gods

Filed under:Ew,Television — posted by Anwyn on December 10, 2008 @ 2:15 pm

…that I stopped watching Heroes when I did:

Because let’s face it, Sylar being all lovey dovey with Veronica Mars makes everyone want to vomit.

My infallible TV Radar once again saves my eyes, in-brain imager, and delicate sensibilities.

image: detail of installation by Bronwyn Lace