The Rant: Toys-R-Us

Filed under:It's My Life,Rants,Toys, Children's — posted by Anwyn on November 30, 2007 @ 1:21 pm

The place that must be like the Hellmouth for Rachel Lucas, the black hole of money, Toys-R-Us. The place exasperates me because it should be an extremely useful store and sometimes actually is. That is, when I need a general present for a child and don’t know what I’m going to get yet, usually I can go in there, wander for a little while, and find something suitable. But then the exasperation. If there’s something specific I want, the odds are 99-1 that they won’t have it. Every single time, no matter what the thing is. Stuffed dog that doesn’t shed? No. Take your pick from these three million dogs with obnoxiously shedding fake fur. The one little wooden table and chairs I wanted for the corner of the kitchen for my son to eat at? No. We’re out. Take your pick from these bright flimsy plastic ones. The one specific Thomas engine that my son wanted as a reward for learning to use the potty? No. Take your pick from these four million engines that are the wrong ones.

Speaking of trains, what up, TRU people, that as usual you have a train table out with all the track and little buildings and sheds and trees and train stations on it … and no trains? My broken-hearted son spent the rest of our trip to TRU today wailing because he couldn’t play with the trains as he does on every visit, because for some unfathomable godless reason the TRU people had put none on the table. “Fortunately, baby, we have trains at home.” Wail. “Honey, see the other little boy? He’s not crying and he’s kind of worried about you because you are. Can you buck up a little for Mommy?” Wail. It’s not entirely so much the trains; it’s also that it’s out of routine and he doesn’t yet understand that the world changes. There were trains; now there aren’t. Apocalypse.

And then, the capstone of the TRU Exasperation Experience, the one that puts my steam up every time, I’m herding my wailing son up to the register, hoping for a smooth and quick checkout, and then it comes, The Nunya Question: “May I start with a phone number, please?”

NO YOU MAY NOT HAVE MY PERSONAL PRIVATE PHONE NUMBER, I DO NOT GIVE A DAMN THAT YOU AREN’T GOING TO USE IT FOR ANY OTHER REASON THAN TO MAIL ME COUPONS WHICH ADMITTEDLY ARE A PRETTY GOOD DEAL OR WOULD BE IF I GOT AROUND TO USING THEM IN TIME BUT FORTUNATELY FOR ME I ONLY NEED TO VISIT YOUR STORE ABOUT THREE TIMES A YEAR AND THEY ALWAYS EXPIRE MY PHONE NUMBER IS NUNYA DAMN BUSINESS AND WOULD YOU PLEASE DO YOUR FREAKING JOB AND LET ME GIVE YOU MONEY FOR THESE TOYS SO I CAN GET MY SON CALMED DOWN AND GET THE HELL ON WITH MY DAY.

It’s not the checkers’ fault; they’re only doing what they’ve been told, which, you know, their paycheck kind of depends on. But this is just such an annoying policy on the part of TRU and various other retailers. Sometimes I comply, but honestly, if you see an exasperated person approaching with a wailing four-year-old in tow, don’t you think you’d exercise enough judgment to just check them out and get them on their way?

Of course not. That’s why you’ll be a checker awhile longer, I’m thinking.

7 comments »

  1. There’s good news. At some point in just a few years there will be NOTHING at that store that your son will want. (Or at least there’s nothing there my 12-year-old daughter wants.) I don’t have to go there anymore.

    But you are so right. It is like entering a kind of hell, not improved by the help.

    I was in Wal-Mart today looking for something specific and very nerdy so I won’t say what it is. I couldn’t find it. For a brief moment, I almost asked the nearest Wal-Mart clad person for help. Then I remembered: I’m in Wal-Mart. There is no help.

    Comment by Anne — November 30, 2007 @ 2:16 pm

  2. I have a friend that collects Star Wars figurines and a few other assorted things from Toys R Us. Every single time he went in, they’d ask him for his phone number, and he’d make up one on the spot to give to them. He was known to rattle off the phone numbers for the Gambling Assisstance Hotline, the internal contact number for the President of the Spirit Mountain Gaming Commission, and the phone number for the Toys R Us in a nearby town.

    Gotta find that comedy while you can. :)

    Comment by wg — November 30, 2007 @ 6:47 pm

  3. I hear you. My store requires us to ask for phone numbers, too. Now they want also want us to get email addresses. Most people don’t care, but every now and then it p!sses someone off, and rightly so. If you want to give people info on sales/coupons etc, tell them how they can sign up to receive it and give them the option of signing up; don’t make it mandatory with every freaking transaction. Not only is it annoying, but this time of year it eats up more time than we have with 50 people in line for whatever doorbuster sale is going on. Especially when you get the person with the 50 character email addy with all the complicated misspelled words and underscores. Or the older folks who don’t know their area code. Or the bozos who don’t even know their own number and have to look it up in their cell phones.

    Comment by Bumble — November 30, 2007 @ 7:04 pm

  4. Oops. Just ignore that first “want” in my second sentence. Dumb thing to do on an editor’s blog. I might get my Christmas present revoked. ;-)

    Comment by Bumble — November 30, 2007 @ 7:07 pm

  5. It annoys me too when cashiers phrase it in a way that is not really a question, more of a demand, like: “Telephone number?” I always say “No, thank you.” and that makes me feel better because I said thank you but also NO at the same time. I will never forget a shopping trip a couple of years ago when a Bed, Bath, & Beyond cashier looked at my signature I had scribbled on my credit slip and pushed it back at me and said: “You are going to have to do better than that.”

    I looked up in disbelief, looked her straight in the eye and told her she could see my driver’s license if she wished, but I was not going to re-sign it because that was my signature. She frowned and processed the transaction.

    Sigh. At the end of the day you’ve got to pity small people with small power trips.

    Comment by thelmajoy — November 30, 2007 @ 8:31 pm

  6. As previously discussed on the Oregon LGBT ballot initiative, I have no issues with giving out some of my personal information, especially if it is readily available in the phone book (compare the name on my credit card with the phone book and there it is). But, if you’d like, you can give out my phreak filter phone number — 248-341-0735.

    It dumps straight into voicemail that I never check. It’s an AOL phone number that I got for free. I ALWAYS use it when I fill anything out. I’ve never received a telemarketing or advertising call on my real number in over 4 years of having it…

    Comment by Chuck Foxtrot — December 1, 2007 @ 5:44 am

  7. I’ve been giving TRU fake phone numbers for years, but it’s always been our number, with like one digit changed. After reading the comment above, I think from now on I’m going to use phone numbers of people I don’t like.

    Comment by Gib — December 2, 2007 @ 9:18 am

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