Straight Talk (Not by a Political Candidate)

Filed under:Cool,Television — posted by Anwyn on September 6, 2008 @ 9:03 am

Yes, I know I owe you sweet, devoted people a boatload of Sarah Palin content. I just haven’t been able to bring it yet. I’m floored by the last week in politics and its implications. When I’m floored I can’t write about it. So … wait. I’ll either have something or I won’t, and if you need Sarah Palin and somehow aren’t getting enough, just click through my blogroll, starting with Ace–I am so in love with him this week for ripping off the heads of people circulating lies about the Palins.

Meanwhile, I return to my regular beat, the oh-so-important, terribly critical Dancing with the Stars. Seriously. Wild stuff. I used to rail and rage against sports announcers and the stupid “interviews” they do with stars and coaches after the game. What do you MEAN, “How important was this win and how do you feel about that?” What a stupid question. Are you just a moron? till a boyfriend more versed in the sports world helpfully pointed out that the “interviews” are always boilerplate form, but they have to go through them anyway in case somebody says something out of line. Kind of like they always have to videotape the president taking off in Marine One in case he falls out, or a rotor blade flies off and decapitates the Rose Garden.

Sports interviewers wish they could interview my Maks. He talks about his partners as friends for life, and I guess he must really believe that, if he thinks he can say stuff about them in an interview while comparing them all unfavorably (however razor-thin the margin between them may be) to his new partner, volleyball queen Misty May-Treanor. Misty is better than Mel B?
Chmerkovskiy: I was shocked, and I don’t throw that word around lightly. People are going to be very surprised by how well she’s going to dance. Laila (Ali, season four) had an incredible work ethic. But I could be too much for her. She’d say: You’ve gotta back off. And then Mel (season five) was just this incredible personality. But she had zero attention span. So here, in Misty, I have a combination of the best qualities of both. She’s like a perfect person to love. She has this aura of sweetness, and she’ll practice for as long as it takes. Let Cheryl [Burke] and Julianne [Hough] collect the trophies. I’ll collect friends for life.

Wow. I said he’d have to go far to find somebody better than Mel B. Apparently he thinks he went far enough. Now I’m stoked. Bring back the rest of my fall TV! Because I watched the Bones premiere last night and, gah. You know those writers I thought they must have hired last season when the shows were clicking right along with good plots and snappy dialogue? Yeah, they all must have quit again.

image: detail of installation by Bronwyn Lace