I gotta start watching more Tucker Carlson.

Update: Okay, seriously, everybody from Tucker to AP (comments to the above thread) to See-Dub to See-Dub’s dad apparently has one of these “Yeah, happened to me” stories about being propositioned in the men’s room. Tucker’s dead on that gay groups need to be disavowing this sort of thing early and often, unlike “It’s My Culture” George Michael.

Ew.

Mosquitoes, meet Shelob.

H/t Dave in Texas at Ace’s.

She totally gets you but will never use the information to her advantage.

So she says.

I’d watch my step anyway, if’n I was you.

Me, she loves.

Scrotumy. Oh yes he did.

And listen here, Lileks, I cannot make the time from all this strenuous blogging to watch Deadwood, no matter how good you … say … it … is … and, um, I don’t even … have Netflix?

No, I did not just admit that. TiVo takes up all my TV time and affection, thankyouverymuch.

Sigh. How can I not watch something the dialogue of which Lileks says is “filigreed ornation?” I can’t not watch, that’s how. Eventually.

So I saw this over at Dawn Summers’s, moused over the link and saw it was to someplace called “indychannel,” hazily thought “independent” for “indy” … and then saw that the story took place in Lafayette. Alas, “indy” did not mean “independent” at all.

“So I approach the car, and the windows came down and there’s a toddler on his knees, controlling the steering wheel,” Barrett told 6News’ Jennifer Carmack on Thursday.

Barrett said she saw Holly Schnobrich buckled in the front passenger seat, and the 3-year-old was crawling in the back.

Lafayette, Indiana. Where the engineers go to school but where most of them aren’t born and raised … except this guy. If he’s driving at five, he should do fine.

Holly Schnobrich told investigators that she let Weston drive because she was too impaired to operate the vehicle, police said.

According to a probable cause affidavit, she admitted taking the prescription painkiller Percocet and vodka.

“(Schnobrich) informed the officer that she took Perocet not for pain control … but she took it when the children acted up,” Tippecanoe County Prosecutor Pat Harrington said.

My heart bleeds for the kids in Child Services, but I devoutly hope to all the PGs (who must have been watching over this child) that Prosecutor Harrington fixes it so that that wreck of a “mother” never gets the chance again to ruin those bright kids.

Weston said the incident won’t stop him from wanting to drive in the future.

“I want to be a race car driver when I grow up,” he said.

Update: Over to you, Gib, for the funny closer.

Does Ace’s mom actually read his blog?

And if so, a) does that explain a lot or b) is she simply the most self-posessed mom evah or just blessed with an extremely strong heart?

Wishing you continued good health, Mrs. Acemom.

Bonus Ace. Mmhm.

It’s scary what you might get if you image-Google the name of an ex. I’m just sayin’.

No, it’s not you. STOP GOOGLING. Sheesh.

1) Dear CNN/Christiane Amanpour: When a guy from the network that gives house room to Keith Freakin’ Olbermann tells you that your “documentary” on religious ideologues was biased, skewed, and downright dishonest in its comparisons of the other two to the poor victimized, driven-to-the-wall adherents of violent Islam, maybe you’ve got a little problem. Like “turn it off after five minutes” problem. And maybe I’ve got an even bigger problem than Amanpour, in that my church sent out an email encouraging people to watch this sham and then show up at church on Sunday ready to finish up and discuss a program by … Bill Moyers. I passed.

2) Are you really telling me that the difference reported in the study between the book-reading habits of liberals and conservatives, the one the president of the American Association of Publishers (I’m so proud), Pat Schroeder, cited in order to crow like the queen of the yard (h/t Slublog) was one book? One? Without reference to what else liberals and conservatives do with their time or even what they actually read? And that the guy who actually did the study says the one book is within the margin of error?

Ace: Yes, dummy, that’s what I’m telling you. Learn to read, for goshsakes.

Eah. Even if it were statistically significant, I would have put up my John Adams and The Last Lion and Team of Rivals and The History of England against The Audacity of Hope any day.

3) You mean doctors prefer charging what the market will bear for a service, and getting paid up front, to charging what a market interference says they must charge and getting paid much later? I’m shocked. (H/t The Headlines of the Creator of Worlds.)